5 Tips for Better Postpartum Sex

Picture this:

You've just given birth to your beautiful baby 6 weeks ago. Your body has been through so much over the last little while in order to grow, nourish, and birth your babe. You're sleep deprived, learning how to keep a tiny human alive + well, and getting to know your new body again, too. 

You head into your OB's office for your postpartum check-up where you're given the thumbs up to have sex - your doctor may not have even looked down there! You may feel like your insides are on the outside - but apparently, after 6 arbitrary weeks, you're good. to. go.  

Does this sound like an experience you've had? This describes my postpartum check-up, and many of the postpartum visits described to me by friends + patients. To be frank, I'm not even sure where to start with unpacking it all - so I'm not even going to bother. Instead, I'm here to offer you 5 actionable and easy tips to help you navigate returning to sex postpartum - whenever it is that you're ready. 

  1. Take A Look: I mean it; take a mirror and have a look down there. How does your scar look (if you have one)? Do you see anything that looks out of place or anything new?
  2. Have A Feel: With your finger, feel your perineum (the space between your vaginal opening and anus) for any tender or sore spots. If you have a scar, how does it feel? Massage your scar + your perineum to increase blood flow and help healing. When you're ready, insert your finger into your vaginal opening; how does that feel? Note any tight or tender spots and gently massage and stretch. 
  3. Take A Breath: Spend time daily on diaphragmatic breathing, feeling your ribs expand all around and belly fill with air as you inhale. Can you feel your pelvic floor relax + unclench with each breath in? 
  4. Have A Stretch: Spend time daily on some pelvic floor stretches and hip mobility work, like the stretches here.
  5. Have A Play: Before jumping into bed with someone else, have some solo fun where you can learn what your body likes, needs, and feels like after baby. 

Try these 5 tips out before returning to sex after having a baby. And when you do, make sure you use lots of lube - lots and lots of lube :)